


I'm Telling!

by Cr0wdc0ntr01



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Concussed Lucifer, Gen, Not very Original Bad Guy, Protective!God, hurt!Lucifer, meteorologically inclined, slight crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-23 23:53:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17693579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cr0wdc0ntr01/pseuds/Cr0wdc0ntr01
Summary: “You shot me!” Lucifer accused, voice coming out in a shocked gasp.“I didn’t mean to! I just-,”“Shot me!” Lucifer interrupted. “That’s it!” The self-proclaimed Devil announced. “I’m telling!”“What?”“Daaad!” Lucifer whined like the five year old he so often accused of being.





	I'm Telling!

**Author's Note:**

> Well... I don't even know what this is. I sort of just started writing?   
> Pretty crackish so don't take it too seriously. Really, don't. It doesn't even make much sense? I just sort of wrote it..

It had been an ordinary case.

They had found a recently deceased twenty year old by the name of Alice Corrington, strewn like a broken doll, left to rot in one of countless LA alley ways. The investigation had begun as it usually did with an insensitive quip from Lucifer, a reprimand from Chloe, a glare from Dan and an endearingly sunny smile from Ella. Two days later, Chloe, Lucifer and Dan had submerged themselves completely in the young woman’s life while Ella unravelled the mystery of her death. It hadn’t been particularly difficult for the seasoned crime fighters to pin point the most likely suspect to be the deceased’s, suspiciously absent, long-time boyfriend, George Maxwell. Finding him had taken longer.

Eventually, they had tracked the no good plebeian (in Lucifer’s exact words) to an apartment owned by the man’s cousin. Lucifer, as usual, had shown all of his considerable tact, in that he simply broke down the door and stormed inside the apartment. Which had been fine – mostly. At least this time they had a warrant. Only, his rather dramatic entrance had, surprise-surprise, worked as a magnificent warning to their perp who wasted no time escaping via fire escape – the rickety metal of which looked as if it were one good knock away from abandoning the building altogether. There was no way they could risk their lives following the perp down.  

Chloe had sighed as she realised as such. She’d turned away, intending to call this in and get units looking for their escaped perp. Only to hear a worrying clang come from the fire escape. She’d turned around just in time to see the tail ends of Lucifer’s suit whip out of sight as he barrelled down the metal stairs after the man. The Detective didn’t even need to see her partner’s face to picture the devilishly excited grin that would currently be adorning his lips.

“Dammit,” Chloe swore before she was hurrying from the building - via the main, perfectly safe, not about to fall apart, internal staircase. By the time she’d reached the street, she was just in time to see Lucifer disappearing around the corner after their perp. Dan, who was pulling up alongside the backup team they were _supposed to have waited for_ , was only steps behind her as they both took off running after the ridiculously reckless Lucifer.

They heard them before they caught sight of them.

“Bloody hell!” Lucifer was swearing when they turned the corner. Both Detective’s took in the sight of their consultant swaying unsteadily on his feet, his hand pressed up to his face. With his back turned to them, neither of the two could see the result of the rather violent pistol whip Lucifer had just received across his temple. They had no way of knowing that he was fighting on the very edge of unconsciousness. Or that he was experiencing, for the first time in his long life, the peculiar effect of a concussion. What they could see was their perp standing steps in front of Lucifer. A gun was held in the man’s hand pointed at their consultant, probably the same weapon he had used to kill his girlfriend. Chloe and Dan both felt equal amounts of dread when they noticed the hunted expression on Maxwell’s face.

“Stay back!” George Maxwell ordered, brandishing his weapon.

The two Detective’s had their weapons in hand, but they were pointed uselessly down at their sides. They were understandably concerned that raising the weapons enough to aim at their perp might be enough to see Lucifer shot. Not for the first time, they cursed Lucifer’s impulsiveness.

Suddenly losing his battle with remaining vertical, Lucifer fell back on his ass. His hand was still pressed against his head, fingers slick with his own lifeblood, as he glared petulantly up at their suspect. “That really hurt!” Lucifer accused, eyes narrowing. George Maxwell stared at him blankly. “Why in Dad’s name would you do that?” The supposed Devil whined.

“I- Just stay where you are, man!” George Maxwell shouted. The murderer seemed entirely disconcerted at the scolding he was receiving from the man who, in all honesty, should have been unconscious.

“Well I’m hardly going anywhere, am I?” Lucifer retorted bitterly. “Not after you’ve gone and knocked me upside the head. Could’ve bloody killed me, you know?”

“ _Lucifer_. Shut up.” Chloe hissed.

“But Detective-,”

“Seriously, man, just zip it.” Dan interrupted him. That he sounded more exasperated than truly annoyed showed just how assimilated they both were to Lucifer’s… Lucifer-ness.

“He hit me!” Lucifer accused. The hand not currently still holding his head came up to point accusingly at their suspect.

“You grabbed me!” George Maxwell retorted almost instinctively.

“Well, yes, but I wasn’t going to hit you, was I?”

If she weren’t currently holding her weapon, Chloe was sure she would be introducing her palm to her face right then.

“No, you were just going to arrest me!”

“Was not!”

“Were too!”

“Was-,”

“Lucifer!” Chloe shouted, interrupting their exchange. In hindsight it hadn’t been the best thing to do. Her sharp voice surprised both of the bickering men. Lucifer jumped twisting toward her, which saved him from a bullet in the chest when George accidentally pulled the trigger. Instead, the round hit him in the arm.

“OW!” Lucifer shouted. His face was slack with surprised pain even as he turned back to face the shocked expression on George Maxwell’s face.

“Oh man!” George stuttered. Neither he nor Lucifer seemed to notice that both Detective’s had their guns up and fixed on the suspect.

“You shot me!” Lucifer accused, voice coming out in a shocked gasp.

“I didn’t mean to!” George shouted back, sounding panicked. “I just-,”

“Shot me!” Lucifer interrupted. “That’s it!” The self-proclaimed Devil announced. “I’m telling!”

“What?” George gaped.

Lucifer turned not toward the two Detective’s at his back as might have been expected, but instead toward the heavens above. His eyes were ridiculously wide, lip wobbling as he stared up. “ _Daaad_!” Lucifer whined like the five year old he so often was accused of being.

Dan’s left eye twitched even as his upper lip threatened to pull upward from the scowl he was so desperately trying to maintain. Meanwhile, Chloe was left feeling only the barest inkling of concern for her partner’s wellbeing. The concern was, for the most part, completely surpassed by sheer annoyance.

Unaware of the reaction of his colleagues, Lucifer continued to gaze pitifully up at the clear sky above. “He- he shot me!” Lucifer held the blood coated fingers of his good hand up toward the sky. “ _Look_! He made me bleed!” He added, as if that alone were a death sentence.

None of the three mortals could understand why, at the exact moment, the blue skies above suddenly darkened. They stared slack jawed as the weather turned suddenly violent, wind whipping and dark clouds rapidly appearing.

“Ha!” Lucifer cried in triumphant as he returned his gaze to the suddenly terrified looking George Maxwell.

“Lucifer… what?” Chloe barely managed to get out before dry lightening began ripping across the sky in angry bolts. One particularly aggressive bolt came down to strike violently at the far end of the alley, closest to George. The brightness of it was shocking as was the tremendous thunder that followed only moments later.

Chloe and Dan both jolted back in surprise, hands coming up to shield their eyes. Bright white scorched across their vision as if they’d been too close to a flashbang. When they did manage to clear their vision, it was to the sight of George Maxwell on his knees. The man had discarded his firearm, his hands were in the air and there was a thick stream of tears flowing from his terrified eyes.

“I’M SORRY!” George Maxwell sobbed. “ _I’M SORRY!”_ He shouted over and over until his uncontrollable sobbing became too intense to speak through. Above him, the sky overhead had rapidly cleared back to being sunny blue skies as if nothing had happened.

Chloe and Dan exchanged looks of terrified befuddlement. As one, their attention turned to Lucifer. The tall consultant was flat on his back, having fallen over at some point. He was staring up at the sky, a bright smile on his face that gave way to the occasional giggled laugh.

Chloe was the first to start moving. She hurried to her partner’s side, hesitating only a moment before kneeling down to apply pressure to his wounded arm. From this close she could see the swelling and bruising that marred the side of his head, almost hidden completely by the cut that was still spilling blood. Vaguely, she was aware of Dan edging around them to attend to the still sobbing suspect – or rather, to stand beside the sobbing man as they awaited backup.

Together the four waited in a heavy silence, broken only by the occasional giggle and muffled sobbing.

**Author's Note:**

> This will be only a one shot so don't expect any more. 'Fraid you'll have to use your imaginations to picture Dan and Chloe's long term reactions.


End file.
